No promises

I am not going to make promises and say I will love you forever. Because here’s the truth: forever doesn’t exist. For some, forever’s extend until death pulls them apart. For some others, forever’s last a few months. For the rest not even a night. ‘Forever’ is just the result of one’s perspective, holding a different definition for each.

So yeah, I am not going to promise you forever, because I will promise you a ‘Now’. You are here in this moment with me. Both of us know we are going to part ways, and also meet again, because the world is fucking small and I believe in destiny. I found a connection with you, which I found with no one else, and I am a traveler. I hop from one place to another and meet hundreds of people on the road. But I have never met another you. I know I cannot stay here for long, and I know parting ways will be harsh. But a promise I can’t keep will only make it harder and more painful. And trust me when I say this, we think we can handle the aftermath, but we do not have that kind of pain threshold. My heart has been scattered, cheated on, stamped upon and broken a lot. Not just by men, but by family and by friends even. I have been promised forever’s from a lot of people who now only exist in my past. I don’t want you to be one of them. I want you in my present and in every coming present. That’s how much I wish for you. I know I cannot have you for all day every day of my life and I have silently accepted the reality. But I do want you in all the moments I know I can. And I want to be there for you as your guiding soul in whatever way I can.

It is not something that can be explained. Surely not something everyone would even understand. And I know the world is going to laugh this belief, this perspective away, even cheap tag it. But who cares? I sure don’t. I know I crossed paths with you for a reason. I know I feel my soul connect with yours for a reason. I don’t have to explain that to the world.

Because the world is not going to understand when I say how at peace I am with you being in the same room. They are not going to accept how quite we can be and still manage to talk to each other without exchanging words. They are not going to believe how only I can see the pain hidden within your hoarse voice. It is me, who gets the unsaid words behind your songs. It is me, who sees a whole universe running behind those shut eyes. It is me, who holds your hand to hold you altogether. It is me, who shares your worries at 3 am and it is me who understands that the world is never going to be fair, but chooses to be there for you, because in you I found my soulmate.

So I am not going to promise you forever, because forever’s are fading and in a time when we aint guaranteed even a tomorrow, forever to me will last only in the present. I am here today, I am here now and I will be the one holding your hand and cheering for you in the crowd, because I know what lies beneath those shiny deep brown eyes and under the cuts on those fingers. And that’s why I promise you a Now.

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Amber